Do Over Please!

On second thought, maybe that’s taking it too far but where did an entire year of my life go so fast? 2011 was filled with both highs and lows for me; I lost two family members, met a ton of new family members, lost a few pounds and ran two 5K races. There were times when the days felt like they were moving in slow motion but most of the time it felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day. I guess life is like that sometimes – unpredictable. I think unpredictable is acceptable in some cases but if your entire life is full of chaos, that can’t be good for your psyche. I think – no, I know that God is in control of everything that has taken place in my life as well as everything that will take place in my life but that does not stop me from taking the necessary steps to create stability in my space. In fact, when you plan for one thing, sometimes it ends up helping you with something totally different and I like that feeling – the feeling of preparation and absolute calm that washes over me when something that could have potentially been a disaster becomes just another challenge to deal with. I initially mentioned a do over because I feel like I didn’t get enough done in the 356 days that made up last year, but when I take a step back and look at all of the things I was able to accomplish, I am actually quite proud of myself for keeping the train running despite some engine failures. I hope that 2012 allows me to experience some of the joys that I haven’t yet met. I hope to feel at least one more month full of sunshine on my face than I did last year and I plan to cross at least 3 more finish lines before midnight on December 31. So, no do overs required, I’m more than happy with the way things turned out. The question now is how am I going to use up the 366th day of 2012 – it’s a leap year and we can’t do that over until 2016. No pressure.
- Melissa Myrie

Turbo Tasking

So I read recently that a major auto manufacturer has decided to limit after-hours email access to some employees in its German division, based on their request, to allow them to maintain better separation between work and home life. This sounds like a great idea in many respects. However, one of the things that I greatly appreciate about working for the YMCA is that it actually allows me to blend my work and home life. I want to be in two places at once. And, due to the nature of our organization, I can sometimes come close Granted, it requires the ability to not even multi-task, but to turbo task. It requires FOCUS.

Take, for example, a recent Friday afternoon.

Our nanny, who has vigorously taken up multi level marketing in her free time, needed to be off by 4:30 in order to attend an “important business meeting,” and my husband’s flight out of Reno was delayed by three hours. I thus unexpectedly had kid duty. I had to propose to the CEO and COO that we relocate our afternoon meeting to my house to discuss an urgent HR issue. I figured, how hard could it be? We’re a family organization, this will be fun.

That attitude lasted until we were seven minutes into our meeting. My toddler began whimpering and climbing my leg. I tried to peel her off and distract, distract, distract, but she was undeterred. It was then that my six-year-old came downstairs in her Little Mermaid underwear, and only her Little Mermaid underwear. I must have forgotten to comb her hair that morning, because she looked like Medusa. A head full of snakes. She hollered for a cheese stick, then rolled around on the living room rug while eating it.

Our CEO looked charmed, and the COO said she loved kids.

We discussed the ins and outs of our HR quandary while I jiggled, cajoled, held, petted, and rocked my toddler. We debated while I changed a diaper. We weighed scenarios while I filled sippy cups, made mac and cheese, and pried dried Cheerios off the underside of the table. Distracted? No, I was focused, totally focused. Well, sort of.

Would I have been more effective if I had been doing one thing at a time? Probably. However, I’ve fortunately been able to keep afloat in most areas of my work and also avoid the boredom that comes with just folding laundry or scrubbing the bathtub…as I’ve found that I can concurrently be processing a problem or debating a policy or considering a new idea.

Then there was the campaign event at which I was scheduled to speak, and found out at the last minute that my husband was stuck in LA. So I delivered my segment holding my daughter, while she shrieked and swatted at the microphone. I apologized afterward to the attendees, but they said, “No problem. We’re about building strong families, right?”

Amen to that!

My friend is an attorney. She gave up her position with her law firm because her colleagues were less than supportive of her obligations as a parent. The final straw was when she was admonished for having diaper cream on her suit lapel before a trial. So now she does a little consulting, and while she misses the faster pace of trial law, she finds that her stress levels are much more manageable.

How fortunate I am to work for an organization that allows me to combine work and family more often than not. I can still pursue my career, continue learning, and remain challenged, while I also work to raise healthy children. Long hours? Sure, we’ve all worked them in the YMCA. However, the flexibility that my job affords me is invaluable. I can write budgets after the kids are in bed. I can answer emails on the weekends. I can get to work mid-morning if someone has a meltdown after waking up in a mood.

And turbo tasking? Call me, we’ll discuss….while I wipe the crusty stuff off of our high chair.

- Elizabeth Jordan, Sr. VP of Operations, YMCA of Silicon Valley

THIS is why I do it…

This has been a busy week, in the middle of a busy session, at the end of a busy year (sounds familiar, right?)

On Thursday, I left an all-day training just before 4:00, and as I raced back to the Y to cross a few things off of my to-do list, I got a call from one of our sites- we had a basketball class starting in an hour, and the instructors couldn’t find a copy of the roster.  I got them a copy and headed over to the program.  I parked and planned a “surgical strike”- I wasn’t going to hang out at the site’s afterschool program.  I wasn’t going to spend any time at all, because I had a lot of work to get done.  (I even left both cell phones in my car- I was going to be in and out!)

Then I walked in the door, and every YMCA professional knows what happened next.  I had to talk to 35 awesome little people and the 5 amazing staff who were with them in the cafeteria.  We’ve had a lot of management transition at our Y lately, and I haven’t spent nearly as much time in our programs as I usually like to.  I hadn’t seen these kids in at least 3 weeks, and we had a lot to talk about.  Still, I thought I could get back out that door pretty quickly.  I made a quick round of the cafeteria, chatting with everyone for a minute, and got to the last table.

There, one of our girls was standing, just staring out of the window.  “Jessica” is a relatively quiet kid, and it’s not always easy to help her get involved in an activity.  She’s the kind of kid who can get a little lost in the hustle and noise of a busy afterschool program.  She doesn’t complain- but it’s easy to see when she isn’t having fun.

We chatted for a minute about what we had been doing since the last time we saw each other, and then I asked her what she felt like doing.  She said, “Nothing”.  I cheerfully suggested that she could join a game of Twister, she could draw a picture, or she could play “Headbandz” with one of the staff and a few kids.  She asked, “Will you play Garbage with me, Miss Shelly?”, and when I started to say that I just couldn’t stay, her face fell a little bit.

It was one of those moments when everything looks a little bit clearer.  I had inspections to set up, a staff Strong Kids campaign to wrap up, phone calls to make, and lots of emails to answer- but I knew what the right thing to do was.  I told Jessica to go get the cards, and I ran to the car to get my phones (and to turn the ringers off, so they wouldn’t be too disruptive.)  Jessica usually got picked up around 5:00, so I figured that we would play cards for 20 minutes or so, and I’d catch up with everything else afterwards.

We started to play, and she started to warm up.  I talk a lot of smack when I play cards, but the kids have all figured me out- I am the worst, most unlucky card player in the whole world.  She won a lot more than I did, and we played fast, trying to get through the whole game before she got picked up.  Some other kids joined us for a few hands, but as it got later, the cafeteria got quieter and quieter.  I glanced at the phones every once in awhile, but there weren’t any urgent messages, so we just kept playing.

At 5:45, it was just Jessica and her brother left in the cafeteria.  Usually, both of them are clock-watchers, always concerned about when they were going to be picked up.  But Thursday night, Jessica didn’t even glance at the door.  When her dad walked in at 5:55, apologizing for being so late, she asked if she and I could finish just one more round.  We wrapped it up a few minutes later, and said good-bye for the night.

I could have done a lot of things in the hour and a half that we played cards, and I could have gone to bed earlier that night if I hadn’t been playing catch up, but it was TOTALLY worth it.  During our card game, Jessica and I got to talk about everything- our relationship is stronger now.  And when the other kids joined us, it gave me a chance to encourage her to build relationships with them.  And when her dad came in and found her happily engaged in something, he relaxed about the late pick-up time.

The card game reminded me why I do what I do.  Spending the afternoon in an elementary school cafeteria was healing to my soul.  There are days (and there have been lots of them lately!) when I feel pulled and pushed from every side, and work feels like a long list of chores that all needed to be done yesterday.  I chose this career because it brings me joy- and emails and paperwork will never, ever be joyful.  Losing at cards for an hour and a half, though- it’s hard to beat that!

 

Shelly Garow

Program Director

Tri-Town YMCA

YMCA of Greater Hartford

How Did I Forget My Bandana?

I am happy to tell you that it finally happened. I moved out of my own way, ignored my apprehension, strapped on my sneakers and ran (and walked) the Earth Day 5K in Silver Spring, MD on April 29, 2011.  After months of talking about doing my first 5K, I realized after writing my last post, there was no more time to waste.

AYP Mideast Region Conference 2011

Ironically, this race took place on the day after I returned from the AYP Mideast Regional Conference that took place in Harrisburg, PA.  While at the conference, I had the opportunity to meet some great new friends from the Y’s of Philadelphia, York, Delaware and a few other places while learning a whole bunch of “leadership stuff” for my career.  It was a very busy 3 days, but every speaker and every panel session seemed to resonate not only with me but also with my fellow attendees.  The final message delivered by Mr. Phil Martelli, head coach of the men’s basketball team at St. Joseph’s University was something that I will have an impact on the way I live for the rest of my life.  In short, Martelli reminded us that we have the power to touch people every day.  Every person that you interact with on a daily basis should leave your presence feeling better about their own existence.  After hearing him speak, I certainly felt empowered and that definitely helped push me out of bed the next morning at 7:30 AM to get registered to run in my first 5K. (I am somewhere WAY in the back of the picture shown below)

2011 Earth Day 5K - Silver Spring, MD

As you know, I have been training for this big day for some time now and every time that I get prepared for one of my 3 weekly training sessions (I do 3 or 4 on a really good week), I put on my workout garb, my running sneakers, grab my music and headphones and finally grab my bandana.  I use the bandana as I was instructed to in Girl Scouts – it does too many things for me to go over right now, but most importantly, it makes a really good reusable tissue.  April in Maryland is generally very pleasant in terms of weather but the day starts out on the cooler side.  On 4/29, my guess is that at 8:00 AM when the race started the temperature was about 52 so with the breeze blowing it was great weather for the run. I don’t know if its my very minor case of allergies or the temperature contrast between my body heat and the air temperature but something about running outdoors requires me to frequently use my reusable tissue.  Needless to say, I finished the race wishing I had the bandana with me in what is now my PR of 47:06:0 – but officially – Melvin Myrie(my new alter ego) is listed as the race participant – gotta love a good typo.

Almost at the finish line

Here I am about 40 yards from the finish line, I’m the one with the lopsided afro-puffs at the front of “the pack” – number 950.  Although it’s not the most flattering picture, I am going to frame it  and keep it somewhere special because it really is the picture of what its like to accomplish a goal. We all have the capacity to do the things that we think are too hard – all it requires is a little push and a lot of faith.

Melissa Myrie (AYP Chapter 16, YMCA DC)

Move Out of Your Way!

The only thing standing in the way of your own success is you.  I hate to be the one to tell you that, but it’s the truth.  This bit of information applies to me too and boy, do I need to move out of my own way.  Right. Now.

I’ve shared my running and weight loss goals with you and I am sorry to tell you that the weight loss has stalled and I still have not completed my 5k.  Do you want to know why?  Because I am in my own way.  The Couch25K application on my iPhone works perfectly, and so does the one I use for Weight Watchers but life is not lived by apps alone.  My endurance is not going to get better unless I train consistently and the weight is not going to come off unless I follow the plan correctly.  Thankfully, I have been following the plan just enough to maintain the weight loss that I have achieved thus far but I need to step my game up and push a little bit harder if I want to take these next 20 pounds off by June. 

So, what about the 5K?  Well, I’m still committed to getting that done and am now willing to commit to doing one by the end of July 2011.  I have a lot of work to do before then and I am willing to accept that challenge.  Ask me how I’m doing at the end of next week – I need you to keep me honest!

Moving out of your own way is actually a very easy task.  All it takes is the ability to make a commitment.  A broken commitment to yourself is probably the worst kind of commitment to break – it means that you have lied to yourself.  Don’t get into that zone.  Make the commitment and own up to it — what’s stopping you?

- Melissa Myrie (AYP Chapter 16, YMCA DC)

Curious Decisions at the NY Health Department

So, I’m on the fence about this one.  Apparently the NY Health Department has decided to place restrictions on what employees can eat and wear at work.  No more fried food, no more mammoth muffins or bulky bagels (unless they are cut in half or into quarters) and no more overwhelming perfume smells.  On the surface, I understand their attempt to “practice what they preach” but, I’m not sure that I can willfully validate such drastic measures to help their workforce make healthier choices.  Our employers are not our parents and therefore should not have the ability to force place restrictions on what we can and can not eat.  If some of us want to eat ourselves into a french fry stupor every now and again, that’s our business….or is it?

Here at the Y, we are committed to Healthy Living and fried foods including those golden fries, are not and will never be healthy.  If the Y decided to mandate our meal choices while on the job, how do you think the movement would react?  I think that a good portion of our team would jump for joy and say this is a great idea because it is totally in line with the message that we are working to spread across the county.  Everyone else would probably protest (either silently or loudly) about their civil liberties being usurped.  It’s one thing to promote healthy living, it’s an entirely different thing to force it upon people unwillingly.  I like the idea of curbing the tendency to order a table full of desserts during a catered luncheon but I don’t like the idea of someone trying to shut down my craving for a tasty treat.

With all of this in mind, I wish the Department of Health workers well and suggest that in the case of an emergency, go enjoy that chocolate cake outside – thankfully the weather is getting  warm.

Network and Net Worth

I’ve decided that your professional network and how much work you put into building it is actually the key to your overall net worth.  If you wish to grow your career to a higher level, there is usually some research and ground work that needs to be done but, I honestly think that the most important part of that ground work involves making connections with people who are already successful in your field.  Whether growing your career means getting a job or finding a new one, the people you know  could be the key to unlocking the door to your future success.  So, “How do I go about doing this whole networking thing?” you ask. Here’s the simple answer – just do it.

Simply put, networking is meeting people and not forgetting about them after that initial introduction.  If you enjoy meeting people and discussing similar interests, this will be a breeze for you.  But, the key to maintaining these new relationships is the follow-up.  Find little ways to stay in touch: send thank you cards (handwritten is my preference but a quick email will do), forward interesting articles that you think might interest him/her, and if you can swing it – invite your new friend to lunch.  The worst thing  that can happen is that he/she will decline your invitation and really – it’s OK if that happens – maybe they prefer to eat in private — no matter the case – don’t take it personally.  In fact, don’t take any of this personally just keep doing it.

If you are more of an introvert, guess what – the internet is here for you.  Sites like LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter can definitely help you build your circle of power-people but in a much less “all up in your face” setting.  Make sure you only share things that you consider “public” information online, otherwise you could get caught off guard when someone asks you about that post you wrote about the time you (fill in the blank).  Keep it Rated-G, my friends.

Don’t forget about the reason we are all here (on this site) – tried and true professional organizations like AYP have always been a great way to meet and greet people who do what you do and/or people who do what you want to do.  Although there is usually an initial investment, the benefits definitely out weigh that “tax”.  Get involved!  Meet some new people, learn some good stuff; I promise – you will thank me!

So, like I said – your network will help you build your net worth either directly or indirectly.  Step out of your comfort zone and take a chance on your greatest asset – YOU!

Melissa Myrie (AYP Chp. 16 – Washington DC)